Even if your love story looks like a fairy tale, you need to remember that your happiness depends only on you.
5 things you should stop looking for in a relationship An ideal relationship is a union of two independent and self-sufficient individuals who come together to make each other’s lives better. To come to this, you first need to make sure that you feel harmony within yourself. You can have a wonderful romantic relationship, but without working on yourself, you will feel like something is missing. We will tell you what 5 things even the most exciting novel cannot give.
1. Purpose in life
Sometimes people are chasing relationships to fill the void created by a lack of purpose in life. It’s like a drug: when another person is around, we feel fulfilled, alive and energetic. As soon as he leaves, an oppressive emptiness instantly envelops. To build a healthy relationship, you need to have a clear vision of what you want out of life. It doesn’t have to match the partner’s vision. You can get rid of emptiness and loss if you go to a dream. When you do this, a confident and self-sufficient person will enter into an alliance with the chosen one. The other person will improve your life, not just act as a cure for anxiety and sadness. 5 things you should stop looking for in a relationship
2. Personal progress
If you’ve found a partner who accepts and loves you for who you are, that’s great. A joy arises inside that is difficult to compare with anything. But it must be remembered that happiness in this case depends on the other person. This is an external source. There is no guarantee that he will always be there. You can have an ideal relationship with your ideal partner, but without progress in your own life, you will not be happy. According to writer Tony Robbins, when we stop growing, we become dissatisfied. 5 things you should stop looking for in a relationship
Progress is the only thing that makes you feel satisfied in the long run. This does not mean that huge breakthroughs have to be made every day. When we think about our top goals in life, they can seem daunting. So we procrastinate by focusing on the big picture. Break your goals down into small pieces that you can work on day in and day out. Cope with one part? Move on to the next one. A huge number of problems are solved in this way. The satisfaction and pride that we feel from the realization that we are moving closer to achieving the goal every day is a feeling that your loved one will never give. 5 things you should stop looking for in a relationship
3. Acceptance of yourself
Because of beauty standards, many are embarrassed about their body and appearance. Some even have serious problems: eating disorder, complexes, depression. Dealing with them is very difficult and can take years. In a relationship, no one will ever force you to love yourself. You must do it yourself . Your chosen one, most likely, does not even notice the flaws that you consider to be a real disaster. You are told that you are beautiful and desirable. But it saves only for a moment. Then you feel insecure again. Even if you date someone who is crazy about your appearance, it will not change your attitude towards your own body. No one can help you fully accept yourself, even the most sensitive and considerate partner.
We humans are extremely complex. Inside everyone there are demons that hide very deeply. Everyone has the opportunity to face what is hidden as far away as possible, but not everyone takes advantage of it. And some of this “meeting” can break. You can probably easily recognize people who are running away from themselves. They are betrayed by body language and voiced thoughts. Everyone has demons, but not everyone is ready to communicate with them. Those who decide to do this are always attracted – you want to be with them. Of course they are imperfect, but who is perfect? Another thing is important: they took responsibility for imperfection. They did the inner work, made peace with themselves. They know what to work on without being afraid of it. They are not afraid to share their weaknesses. The Chosen One can help you get to know yourself better. But all the responsibility lies with you. How can you give a piece of soul to another?
5. Releasing addictions
It is important to understand that you cannot change others. And other people can’t change you if you don’t want to. Everyone has their own addictions: some have a weakness for alcohol, others are addicted to certain types of relationships or people, someone is addicted to feelings. People don’t want to get rid of addictions because they satisfy needs. Yes, there are a number of unpleasant consequences, but the feeling of calmness is more valuable. “I met a man who used alcohol as a coping mechanism. He drank every night so as not to remember what he did not want to remember. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stop him from picking up the bottle. Now I understand that I was doing the wrong thing – I could never make him see the mistakes he made, ”says journalist Shirin Asefi in Thought Catalog. Relationships won’t save you from addiction. 5 things you should stop looking for in a relationship